So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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