Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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