So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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