As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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