Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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