i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
