as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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