You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
