The maid of honor just puked.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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