My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
