Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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