i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
