dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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