I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
