BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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