at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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