i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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