Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
