singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
