Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We got so high we made milksteak
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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