You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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