I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
