he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So many bounce houses so little time
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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