Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
