Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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