I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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