so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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