Just cropdusted the office
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize