i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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