either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
