i just google imaged poop.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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