made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
