Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize