So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
