I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
