just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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