Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
