He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize