I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
