the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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