I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
