Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
