I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize