Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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