you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
