Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I could fuck to npr.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
