we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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