why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
