Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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