i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I enjoy the company of your penis
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