Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
