is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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