I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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