I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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