also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
