You just made me feel so damn special
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
