TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
