We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
