This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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