are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
