either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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